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Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

Review by SS

I've been wanting to read Artemis Fowl for a long time, actually... ever since Harry Potter made me decide that young adult books could be very cool. Harry Potter is very cool - Artemis Fowl is not.

The story is about Artemis Fowl, a 12 year old genius boy who also happens to be the latest in a line of criminal masterminds. He has decided that he's going to kidnap a fairy in order to get a huge stash of fariy gold as a ransom. Captain Holly Short is a fairy. She is also a member of a specialist fairy police force called the LEPrecon Unit. She's the first female fairy ever in that squad, and Commander Root hates her, and always has.

Holly gets kidnapped (not a spoiler since this is written on the blurb), and yadda, yadda, her Unit tries to rescue her and Artemis tries to be all evil and stuff.

Ok, I know this is a really trivial matter, and I'm probably the only one who would get annoyed at it, but... Artemis is a girl's name! The name of a female goddess, in fact, and my brain was boggling trying to reconcile the idea of a Greek Goddess as a bratty little boy. There are loads of names out there! Did the author have to pick that one? And there is a lot more wrong with the main character than his name. For one thing, a 12 year old evil mastermind genuis is not a character easily made likeable, and even less easily made believeable, and the author did neither. He was a snivelling, contrived brat. Holly was a snivelling, whiny brat. The bickering between the other characters was just tiresome. The little bits of "emotion" were over-done and so corny I had to roll my eyes. The entire plot seemed contrived and pointless and disjointed. Things seemed to happen just so the author could set up the next bit of pointless plot. Did I really care how it ended? Um, nope. Except for the fact that it did end. Finally.

I also didn't like the way they tried to "modernise" the fairy world - with hi-tech guns and stuff. I guess it would have been cool for younger kids, as would the dwarf bodily function jokes, but I found it pretty lame.

I did like Butler and Juliet, though *g* Nice supporting cast, even if there was nothing worth supporting.

The whole book seemed to me very pompous and contrived, and I don't think I'm going to read the sequel.

1.5 out of 5 amulets.

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